Here I Am Again

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while. I am back at my "fat weight" and I'm feeling pretty low lately. I've been going through a bunch of dental things (abscess, root canal, crown, wisdom teeth out)  this past month and I also moved in with my boyfriend at the end of June. Lots of changes and taking care of some things has made me put exercise on the back burner.

About a month ago I was trying on bathing suits, and started crying in the dressing room. I don't like feeling like this, not at all. I look at my body, my bone structure. I am meant to be petite. I am not meant to have flabby arms, a stomach, and back rolls. This is not who I am, or who I want to be. I feel like once people reach a certain weight, they become invisible. No more compliments coming my way like they were when I was 15lbs lighter on my journey...I feel disgusting. And I know, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but honestly I talk and talk and talk about losing weight and getting healthy all the time but just keep gaining. Maybe this is my threshold...the final point where I decide enough is enough or give up. Well, I'm not giving up. I am never giving up. I just need to try much harder. Between my PCOS and the birth control they gave me, I have gained almost 10lbs since March. Once I am recovered from my wisdom teeth removal (had the surgery yesterday), I need to get back into good habits that will make me proud of myself again.

Please pray for me, and I hope that I can inspire others to start their new healthy lives and know that we are all human and make mistakes. I just need a helping hand right now. I have the love and support from my wonderful boyfriend, and I have some great friends who will help me as well...but I need to motivate myself and take a pledge for a healthier me, and commit to it. If anybody has a good program, tips, or words of encouragement please feel free to comment.

Love,

• Laura